It’s not about me. This plan isn’t dependent on me. The kingdom coming is not dependent on my strength, my resilience, my determination. The good Lord did not leave it up to me to determine when his kingdom is coming or what it will look like. I am not that powerful. I am not that wise. I may be prideful enough to believe those lies, but the Holy Spirit sure knows how to reveal them for what they truly are.
Proverbs 16:9 “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.”
Right now I am in the midst of the third week of our official preseason for the soccer team. There’s new freshmen, new transfers, and teammates from last year with new hearts and new history. I, myself, come into this year with new history, new experience, and a new heart. I hope that now (and for the rest of my life) my heart is renewed daily and each year is a new heart that grows closer to the Lord. As I get to know my new team, something different has happened in my heart.
Last year, there was a bit of panic in my gut. “How on earth could I be a light to so many girls who want absolutely nothing to do with Jesus? Why would they ever listen to me? How can I evangelize to them without seeming self-righteous, judgemental, or weird?” Do you notice the theme here? It was all about me. Sure I knew that God had a plan and that it was all in his hands, but did I really believe that? I knew no sure or secure peace in light of his sovereignty. I wasn’t looking to God as I walked in obedience, I looked at my circumstances as I walked in self-trust and self-confidence with a hint of calling on the Lord. I looked at my circumstances and at my own feeble strength and of course- that was not the most encouraging.
In Exodus 3-4, God is telling Moses that he will go and lead the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt. Moses responds to the Lord in surprise, because who is he to lead a whole nation out of slavery and into the promised land?
Exodus 3:12 “And God said, ‘I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain.'”
And later on when Moses questions God’s choice in making him his voice to the Israelites-
Exodus 4:11-12 “The LORD said to him, ‘Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the LORD? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.'”
It isn’t about us. It’s not about my ability to be personable and relate-able to all of my teammates. It’s not about my ability to eloquently relay the meaning of the gospel in the locker room before practice. It’s not about my ability to be perfect, as sometimes we think we must be in order to be lights in Christ. Who gave me my athletic ability? Who gave me my mouth? Who gave me my mind? Not only that, but who gave my teammates their hearts and minds? This is not about me. This is all about my Father in heaven who has divine sovereignty and authority over everything in heaven and on earth.
This year, there’s new freshmen, new transfers, and teammates from last year with new hearts and new history. I, myself, come into this year with new history, new experience, and a new heart. This is not about me. This is not about them. This is about the LORD. It always has been, it always will be. Rejoice in his salvation! Sing praise to Him, for He is good. Always good. His mercies are new each morning- great is his faithfulness! Faithfulness in the seemingly small and in the overwhelmingly large. Great is his faithfulness.
Let us keep trusting. Let us keep praying. Let us keep seeking obedience by being disciplined by his grace. Let us keep fighting the good fight!
Psalm 13:5-6 “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me.”