It’s okay to say “No, thank you” to That date with the Sweet Guy who Loves Jesus

A couple weeks ago, a really nice guy asked me out.

He loves Jesus. He is servant hearted. He is gentle and kind. There is nothing wrong with him, but he is simply not the guy for me. I am not interested in a dating relationship with him.

And that is okay. It really, really is.

The GOSPEL frees me to say that I am not interested in a dating relationship. The Gospel frees YOU to say the same thing.

No, you do not have to know that you would marry that many before you go to coffee with him. But it also doesn’t mean that you have to go to coffee if you aren’t interested.

When you know every minute that Christ is for you. That He died for you. that the Creator loves and cares for you, it allows you to date (or not date) rooted in confidence and strength that the Lord loves us and cares for us because of Jesus.

Saying no is hard. It is something that I really struggle with. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I did not want to hurt his self esteem.
I KNOW it takes so, so much courage for a guy to ask a girl out and risk rejection.

However, for me to love him in that moment, as my dear brother in Christ, was for me to say no. To tell him that I wasn’t interested. To free him up to move on, to find the right girl. And that is okay.

There is nothing wrong with saying no. You shouldn’t feel guilty or allow others to make you feel that way. There is nothing wrong with singleness. God did not make 1/2 a person + 1/2 a person to = 1 whole person.

It is 1+1=1.

You can REST in the confidence you have in Christ and know that there will be another guy that will come along.

In the meantime, focus on your own heart and remember sweet sister, that if we can face the judgement seat with confidence we can go out and LIVE in confidence.

Caroline (@caromedlin) is an author, creative + the founder of She is passionate about women’s ministry + a firm believer in adoption. She is a senior at Middle Tennessee State University and currently calls Nashville home.

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