Hey you. Yes, you. My sweet sister in Christ, people lover and fellow perfectionist.
I have been where you are. I have defined myself by my past failed relationships:
- failed dating relationships
- failed friendships
- failed family relationships
I love people. I love their stories. I love their hearts. I love to build friendships and to really delve deep into gospel centered community.
But sometimes, sometimes I get sucked into the lie that I have to be perfect. Perfect in my relationships etc. I have (and am often tempted to) let a failed relationship control my thoughts and my actions.
This looks like:
- Anxiety.
- Depression.
- Exhaustion.
- Shame.
Shame is telling myself, “I am not enough.” The amazing part of the gospel is this: You can’t be enough. And thats okay because you do not have to be enough!
Because of Christ, when God looks at you he sees perfection! That is the good news of the gospel.
Because God turned his face away from his son on the cross, Christ will never turn his face away from you.
Your identity is not determined by your success or your failures, it is rooted in Christ.
I think this is really the key point: if Christ can forgive you at the cross, why should you define yourself by your smaller failures? By your failed relationships?
There is freedom in Christ. Freedom from failure, anxiety, shame.
Tell yourself, “I will be okay, despite my failure at ________ because my identity is in Jesus and not in _______.”